The Missing Piece For Middle East Peace

The Complex Problem: Achieving peace in the Middle East. Not just for Israel and Palestine, but for all the entire area. This problem has vexed the rest of the world for at least 1600 years if we consider the eight major Crusades from 1099 AD until 1291 AD. No one has been able to solve the problem of who is entitled to live where, and how long? I do not wish to delve into the intricate complications brought about by religious ignorance, ethnic hatred and geopolitical implications. So here comes the solution.

The Simple Answer: This area has the three religions which dominate Western Culture…Christianity, Islam and Judaism. Notice I have placed them in alphabetical order so there is no hint of preference or favoritism. Christians worship God, Muslims, Allah, and Jews, Jehovah. Each basic faith has many sects, but all of them maintain their basic faith in their chosen god. 

However, here comes the paradox and of course within it lies the simple solution. Allah, God and Jehovah are the SAME GOD!!! I know there are tons of you out there that refuse to accept this…so Google it! The Old Testament of our Holy Bible is the history of the Jewish people’s struggle to come to terms with Jehovah’s wrath and love. The New Testament is Christians claiming the Jewish god was too severe so He came down to earth as Jesus and softened Judaism…oh yeah He also said we could get some rewards before the world came to an end, where the Jews have to wait in darkness until that day…or event? 

Mohammad was fasting in a cave during Ramadan…yeah that was a shock to me... when he claimed Allah spoke to him and told him he had to revise Christianity because it was corrupt. However, he did say the Holy Book was not and had good points!  He also promised some rewards which might be more attractive to some guys, but that isn’t important we can keep them.

So, if each group is worshiping the same God, the solution is so simple I shudder when I wonder why someone hasn’t come up with it before me! Look, all we have to do is have some important big wig go to each and proclaim we are all Jews! Or Muslims! Or Christians! It really doesn’t matter. All we have to do is pick the one which is the most difficult to convince and declare their way is the right one. Once everyone admits it’s the same Big Guy up there in the sky looking out for everyone of us, all we have to do is adopt or rewrite The Book…and remember it was us Christians who had to do a new one. So once we got a new BOOK… poof!!! Peace! Love! and Dove! 

Just tell Mr. John Kerry, our Sec. Of State that the Beatles had it right…All we need …etc!! Once again you got to admit…I got the answer…where’s the next problem?      

Our Prejudices

The Complex Problem: The endurance of Sexism, Racism, Ethnocentrism, and Egomania in our beloved country, which generates greater and greater schisms…gaps if you prefer… in our American culture.

Artistic Interruption: If true our National Anthem should be changed to America the Beautiful.  By altering a few words in the concluding stanza, it reflects our true, feelings regarding all of the ISMS. Just change, “And Crowns thy good with brotherhood…from sea to shining sea!” to:    “And crowned thy good with brotherhood…just as long as you look like me!” The other verse endings could be, “As you think like me…vote like me… dress like me. See? Of course you do…you bigots! Now back to the simple solution to correct this.

The Simple Solution: Somewhere out in Whippy- Who, Montana construct a huge scholastic complex which all children attend…with no exceptions- from kindergarten to as far as their ability or ambition can take them…be that high school or a Ph.D.!  

 This will continue for three generations. By then all prejudges will be erased. Our hates and fears, loathing’s and despising begins at home. The Spartans understood this. At seven all males were removed from the home until they were 21! They returned dedicated to the state. We did not learn!! 

Oh! There will be separate schools for those possessing superior athletic talents which could lead to a career in any of the popular venues. Their yearly competitions will be televised on Pay TV and the income will support basic expenses! Both sexes will be honored…see…I got it!

Only the most gifted teachers will make up the facility and they will be rewarded on a CEO status. The higher the yearly test scores are, the higher their rewards! There is no tenure...  if you can’t produce, you’re gone.

 All facets of the curriculum will be presented without bias or censor. Kids are really cool when it comes to dissecting the honest from the scoundrel. And they are also colored blind, apolitical, accept sexual equality, and ignore accented speech…until their parents tell them otherwise. The parents are not here!  All electronic communication is banned. They get two single day supervised visits each year. 

Now, if wealthy, fanatical religious and all the other ISM parents do not wish to send their children, then they have two weeks to leave the USA.  Each is allowed one medium suitcase… all bank accounts, the sale of property is frozen and they may not return. See…trust me.         

Simple Solutions to Complex Problems from the Emporer of the Universe & Surrounding Areas

The Problem: Medical advances since 1950 is providing abnormally extended life expectancies which has allowed a drastic increase in the world’s population which threatens worldwide famines riots, and endemics!

Example: The average life span for American males in 1935 was 65. The life span for the average American male in 2010…is 78. And children’s life span’s born after 2012 is projected at 120!

The Simple Solution: No one is allowed to live past the age of seventy unless they have made a major contribution to the betterment of their fellow man.

Even the Bible decrees that God has granted us, “Three Score and Ten!”  (70 Years.”)

Now the problem becomes complicated by what method or methods shall be used to enforce this? Once again your beloved leader has a simple solution which doesn’t echo Hitler, Stalin, Mao or any of those unpronounceable dictators roaming the Central African and Sub-Asian Veldts.

When you reach 70, you receive a package containing three pills, a red, a white and a blue one, and you have a week to select which one you use to depart this overpopulated planet. All three pills allow you to depart in a soft, whirling dream like state.

The red pill grants you exit while you enjoy reliving your life’s most wonderful moments!

The blue pill provides you the opportunity to experience all of the wishes, obsessions and desires your life did not grant!

The white one presents a pathway for you to enjoy all of the fantasies, hopes and wishes you didn’t have the imagination to conjure!

There is one small print limitation; You Cannot Mix The Pills!!!

Now, what if you just don’t have the guts to go out when your time is up? Well, on the eighth day The Pill Police show up and they have an assortment of pills no one…well hardly any normal person… would like to take.

I’ll give you one of the least obnoxious ones: For Clean Freaks; they go out believing they are submerged in a river of human and animal excrement.

See? Simple solutions for complex problems…trust me!