No More WAR!!! Trust Me!

The Complex Problem: Many areas of the planet which are economically essential to the industrial world are engrossed in wars. War is nothing new! After all cavemen went at each other’s throats, and all religions have slaughtered unbelievers or misguided ones, right back to the Egyptian Pharaohs.  And while we are at this, can you think of any invader who did not profess they were invading another territory to protect someone or something?

The scope of war slowly expanded, basically keeping pace with mankind’s greed. Then World Wars I and II were just too expensive and too destructive. They also were the first wars which killed the ‘wrong people’… the gentry, educated and idle wealthy. Wars after the Korean Conflict, became smaller in scope, tribal by either religious or ethnic differences, and seemingly endless. If this trend continues, we are going to spending too much money protecting the other two three letter words which spell GOD… as Oil…and Gas!  

The Simple Solution: Only males over the age of seventy years, who have achieved economic, political, or artistic status and renown, are allowed to go into battle! Drones and robots are banned, but all female or male camp followers can be any age under thirty and their services are gratis! Last all battlefields will be in empty, ecologically, and economically of no importance and must be at least 500 miles from any large urban area. 

One last point; of course every second of combat will be televised and then critiqued by both warring group’s pre-teen population. Whichever side wins, the most inept side will be beheaded right after the vote is announced. It might be interesting to have the winners perform the decapitation … also on television, but only on Pay For View!! Prices to view begin at a third of the average yearly income for the execution of each protagonist. See!!! Trust me!

I have Answers!!!

Traffic!

The Complex Problem:   TRAFFIC!!  

I live in suburban Washington DC and in the year,2012, this city achieved another gross ridicule landmark…The average commuter spends in excess of 70 hours of his or her life each year waiting! 

Listen, from birth we are all waiting:  Waiting to sit up, to crawl, to stand, to walk, run, escape, have sex, get a degree, get a job, get hooked up, get married,  have kids…you can fill in some blanks…the last wait is to sit in a Lazy Boy drool a little and wait to die! Okay it’s part of The Process…but we do not have to add waiting while sitting in a car at a red light or stalled on a (ha ha) Freeway!

Artistic Sidelight… Why is it you can’t drive on a Driveway or park on a Parkway? Oh well…

 The problem is complicated here because Virginia will not spend any money improving roads leading to the capitol.  And why should they? Sooner or later when conditions reach insane anger and folks get out of their cars and being shooting the guy in front of them, the US Government gives Virginia money to widen, build a new road and … Enough! This never ends!

Artistic Sidelight: I just read in the Washington Post that 74% of all DC workers do not live in DC! Yet every morning I see thousands of cars, with just one occupant zeroing in on it.

The Simple Solution: 

 First:  End all free parking for everyone including the Congress, Supreme Court and White house! Parking here runs $20 to 30 a day! Fifty weeks at $125.00 a week adds up to $6,250.00 per year!

Second: Anyone who crosses from one political entity into another must pay a yearly commuter tax unless all seats in their car are occupied! Make the tax $5,000.00 per vacant seat!

Third: Parking infractions within the city limits begin at $250.00 and quadruple up to four. Then your vehicle is impounded and you can’t get it back unless you bid on it at a public auction!

Last: Increase public transportation so that we have adequate buses, trains and street cars. Also this will cost the user $10.00 a week! And! There will be separate trains, buses and streetcars for college grads, white collar, non phone or tablet users non smokers tobacco chewers, non messy fast food munchies and polite people who do not hog the seats! Drudge workers and impolite folks will have nice conveyances but they will be confined to them until they have better their economic and social castes. See, ain’t that The Good Old American Way? Bet your butt it is!!! Once again …I have the solution!

So you folks lucky enough not to live here…what do you think? Can’t we use this throughout this great land of ours? And OMG I almost forgot! Just think of how much air pollution is going to fall!!!  and...the oil interests can not make billions a day for artificially shifting the price of a barrel  of crude oil